It is almost 1 in the morning and I can not sleep. My mind wont stop running and my body hurts. I can't get comfortable and I still have 4 1/2 weeks left. I am not sure what I am going to do if I don't figure something out. Scott's sleeping so I can't watch the office which always seems to help me get to sleep and the volume is broken on the other tv and it is to loud to be on this late at night. So instead I am on here just mumbling. It probably doesn't make sense and I will erase it in the morning when I reread it. But at least it gives me something to do.
I am so glad that I did not put Madison in school this year. She would have done fine I am sure but just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I am so emotional and I need her. She may not need me but I need her around to talk to. She is my only friend it seems like sometimes. The other day she said that Scott is the fun one right now but that is because mommy has a baby in her belly and I will be fun again when the baby comes out. I wanted to cry because it is so true. I am not fun I hurt all the time and I am sad and cry a lot. I hope that when this little girl comes I don't have depression like I did with Melanie. I want to be the fun energetic person I was before.
I am going to try to sleep now. Wish me luck!
1 comment:
Oh Brie... Oh this hurts me because I totally understand EXACTLY how you feel. I am sick all of the time, and I feel like a loser. If you are depressed after baby #3 you need to get help because its worth it. If you need me, I can be there anytime. Really.
Also, I know what you mean about Madison being your only friend, I totally felt like that when I was pregnant with Gwennie. Rhaynnon was the only one who got me through the rough times.
I love you.
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